Holding Bags and Handing Over Credit Cards

Today was rainy and humid and besides, shopping was on the list anyway. After letting everyone sleep in as much as they wanted (for Anna, 7am and for Molly, 9:30am), I had Molly go through her closets and drawers and take inventory (Anna had done so the day before) and we compiled lists of what the girls needed. Anna has grown several inches since last summer, and while Molly has not, some of her clothing has passed its shelf life and to be honest...not much has changed with Molly in the way of fruitful shopping excursions. We can still spend all day shopping and come home with only one thing. For her 17th birthday her dad and I gave her a sizeable gift card to the Cherry Hill Mall (a mall loaded with teenager-approved clothing stores), thinking this would solve the problem. Nope. She spent it all on gifts for her friends. And tea and coffee drinks.

After lunch, we divided the team in order to minimize fighting. Dad took Anna, and I took Molly. And her friend C. A tidbit we've acquired over the years is that Molly is a more productive shopper when a friend is along to help confirm her decisions. (C was also along for prom dress shopping this year).

Note that I am not complaining about Molly and her shopping. I am just accurately portraying the situation. I have also learned that parenting teenage Molly is on the VERY EASY end of the parenting teenager spectrum.

C and Molly and I had a very nice time wandering around the Cherry Hill Mall. I did not have much of an agenda, other than to walk out with a few clothing items for my daughter from the list, and was aware that "non-pressuring" was the best atmosphere in which to conduct this. So I pretty much filled the roll of shopping-bag-holder and credit-card-hander-over. I patiently trailed behind as they held up every single dress in Urban Outfitters next to them but not trying on any. I was very tempted to take photos of them hugging the male mannequins clothed in hipster wear, but did not. If I had done so, and then posted it on social media saying "C and Molly would find any guy wearing this outfit attractive," I probably could've made Banana Republic some fast cash, and several young men would look very handsome in those outfits tomorrow morning at school.

We had some success in American Eagle, and each girl walked out with a shopping bag. Molly also found some success in Abercrombie & Fitch, and then we made our way to Hollister. As they started toward the fitting room in Hollister, they discovered that C no longer had her American Eagle bag. So we decided that they would run back to A&F to look, while I would hold all of the things they wanted to try on in Hollister. I searched every inch of Hollister for that bag, and suspiciously eyed several Hollister customers, but the bag was not there. Awhile later, the girls came back with the bag, took the clothes I'd forgotten were not actually attached to my arms, and went to join the long line to the dressing room. I took Molly's and now C's bags and found a chair in an alcove of a dressing room not in use. And proceed to wait for the girls to get through a half hour (that is NOT an exaggeration) dressing room line. I got very good at telling people that no, this is not the dressing room, the dressing room is over there (pointing to big long line). I listened to lots of terribly composed music, some if it priming young people for domestic violence relationships (yes, I carry a bit of vicarious trauma, but really? every man deserves a good, hot woman? as if I don't already go against my better judgment by allowing my daughter to buy shorts with a 1 inch inseam). While I waited, I received texts from Jeff about how many items off of Anna's list were obtained in one store, Kohl's. Well at least half the team was finding good deals and obtaining needed clothing.

After an eternity in purgatory Hollister, Molly and C came over empty handed. They didn't find anything they liked in all those clothes they tried on. And then Molly hit her personal shopping wall where her eyes glaze over and she can't focus on anything, and we left.

So while I love neither the mall nor its stores (well, I love Banana Republic a little. And Lush), I love my daughter. I may joke, but it really wasn't a bad day. What I have also learned being a mom...

...Time can't rewind. High school is almost over for Molly and as fast and furiously as I keep trying to hit the pause button, never mind rewind, time is hurtling towards move-in day at the dorms, and the privilege of spending a leisurely afternoon with my daughter and one of her best friends is near extinction.

...Some things aren't as important as I once thought they were. Molly choosing all of the clothes she needs for the year in one afternoon of shopping, besides not being possible, is not preferable to making good memories instead of strife-filled ones. (Unfortunately I speak from experience).

... Molly can actually make 2 pairs of shorts work all summer (Did I mention I speak from experience?) It's not the end of the world. Human beings adapt. If it was important for her to have more shorts, she would somehow find a way to buy more shorts. But clearly she would rather have 2 pairs of shorts she really likes. (Which, by the way, happens to mirror her mother's buying and wearing habits if I think about it. Down to the hitting of the personal shopping wall). 

Every day is not a beautiful day at the shore. Some days, stuff has to get done, down and dirty and involving more time in Hollister than I ever thought possible. (Why is it dark and maze-like in there?) In a few months, I will be wondering who her friends are and what kind of people they are. I will be wondering about the every day happenings of her life and not hearing about them in conversation, with me or overheard among her friends. I will wonder if she's safe, ok, has enough money, still has a soul, etc. All of the little every day things I do with her, for her - I know I will miss.

Though I have a sneaking suspicion that somehow I will still be handing over the credit card long-distance.