Loneliness is Not a Virtue*

Virtues are generally assets. Patience, kindness, self-control: these are things we like to see in people. We don't do so well with brokenness, in ourselves or others. We tend to want to turn our heads, change the subject.

For me, loneliness is evidence of my brokenness. It is a flag waving to me that signals I don't have it all under control. It exposes my lack of strength and bravery that I work so hard to compensate for. It reveals that I'm self-centered, because loneliness involves a certain amount of preoccupation with self. It also suggests possible jealousy towards all the people I observe having a good old time.

After all, Jesus didn't say "Blessed are the lonely, for they shall_____ (receive new friends? Eternal good looks?)," He did say, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Poor in spirit: broken, not together. Peacemaking, pure in heart, merciful - obviously these are virtues, worth blessing. Even mourning and persecution - well, you lost something, we empathize with your suffering. But poor in spirit just means, "I ain't got nothin' left."

That's how I feel too often lately - nothing left. Pathetically, after having been dealt a good hand too. And yet, I have a place in the kingdom of heaven along with everyone else who has ever seen people squirm in their presence, those of us who have regrets. A place in the kingdom assigns us something to do that has value, something to be a part of that's bigger than ourselves.

When the prodigal son had nothing left, he sought his father. In his father's arms he belonged, and found love and forgiveness and purpose. Loneliness is not a virtue, but sometimes it's the motivation to rise from wallowing in the sludge of self-pity and seek your Father.