And then into my happy (or neurotic) plotting shot an arrow of reality. Today I read a chapter of a book my sister Kristy gave me for my birthday written by her boss, Gary Haugen. The chapter talked about how when trying to connect with humans who lived in such awful poverty that literally our dogs have better nutrition, health care, and living conditions that it is difficult to find anything at all in common with them. The similarity he discovers is that people everywhere love their children deeply, and have a profound sense of helplessness at their fate. No matter how rich we are, there are always elements of our children's welfare we cannot control. It is in this helpless love that we find the common denominator of humanity.
Stories are told about people whose daughters were kidnapped and sold into sex slavery, widows whose land got confiscated by corrupt officials and left them starving and destitute, parents in slavery whose children were enslaved and could not be given medical treatment or schooling. I love my kids. I worry about them - how to best adjust them to a scary move. Jeff and I embarked on a school interviewing marathon to make sure they would be getting a good and safe education where we might be going. I had a preemie whose life hung in the balance for some long weeks. But I have never had to watch a child starve to death or wonder if a daughter didn't come home because a predator took her or not have any health care or schooling options available for my family.
International Justice Mission (my sister's employer) is in the business of standing up for the rights of people in the above situations, so the stories all had endings of hope where courageous people intervened to bring about justice and see the return of basic human rights. People who used their resources and influence and skills to do something human and kind in the face of gross inhumanity and cruelty.
A friend relayed some insight about a program she saw on PBS. The premise was that people of our country/generation have gotten very good at being "green" and giving money to charitable organizations, etc. (good things, not bad), but have completely lost the ability to be civil. We have forgotten how to be good neighbors and decent human beings. "If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever" (I Corinthians 13:3, NLT).
Suddenly it seems ludicrous that I spend exhausting amounts of mental energy on some of the things I do. My family is important. My investments are even kind of important in that they allow me to provide for my family. But I got quite a dose of perspective today in once again sifting through "needs" vs. "wants". Why is it that I find myself in this place over and over again? Why am I too often self-absorbed and petty? Over and over again I'm peering into a mess of mixed up priorities and wondering when I'll get the guts to be the person I suspect I was meant to be.
Remind me of this post when I'm whining to you about the color of my cabinets or lack of light in my living room. Hopefully I will never be crying about a backed up septic tank. However, I really do think one gets a free pass to cry over a backed-up septic tank.
5 comments:
Great post Tiff. So true. Where are you moving to? Please say Chicago.
Thanks, Jeannie. No, unfortunately not Chicago. Nothing official yet... Jeff was offered a position at Syracuse University. How was your spring break?
I have to admit, I get excited when I see the asteriks! :) You have such a way of talking about things. I love it. And there's always that spark of humor. I think you're the one that should be writing!
well said Tiff
Wow! I struggle with this ALOT! It has recently become more "in my face" so to speak recently when reading the book, "There is no me, without you" (one woman's quest to save Africa's children) There is a story of a man and his wife who thru the contracting of HIV were exiled by their community to the streets. They were in their teens and expecting a baby. The real estate that they found was a few pieces of metal that they used to make a fence around a little rag bed on the street... no roof. Their child was born in this condition, mother died and father who loved him dearly did the best he could to provide for his boy until age 2 when it was apparent that the father was dying. The woman who the story was about was able to rescue the boy to take him to her "safe" home for HIV orphans. The compound she had for them looked like metal dumpsters... this was a step up for this little boy!
There is an answer to your question, "Why is it that I find myself in this place over and over again?" Paul speaks of it in his own life. In Romans 7:14-25 at the end he says, "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind and serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin." But if you move on to Chapter 8 you get more hope for this problem... "There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus." and later it says, vs. 6 "For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,"... ahh and get this... back to the verse about us being adopted as His children the whole "Abba! Father!" verse. He says that we have an inheritance with Him, so if we are discontent about anything right now even if it's our awesome urban houses... we have riches that we can't even imagine waiting in heaven. Hold on to your faith Tiff, there IS hope for this problem.
Love ya!
kath
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