See, touchy subject. I am aware, however, that the Rozelles will lose the rat race if we try to compete. Our family is officially out of funds and still have a half-furnished, half-decorated house. That is grey you see in my dull brown hair I should be coloring. I totally am wearing what not to wear and yes that does bother me a little even though I put up my "I don't care what you think because I walk to the beat of my own drum" front. But on the other hand, compared to world averages I eat like a glutton, dress like a queen, live in a house that is obscenely big for my family, live a life of relative leisure, enjoy a high standard of health care, look relatively young for my age (I have all my teeth and have been raised on a nutritious diet), and sleep in peace every night.
I'm cheap. I'm competitive. I'm a Christian. I'm an American consumer. Not all of those things dwell together comfortably in my person. Reconciling this is a struggle. I do know that I should be less selfish and more loving, more giving, more into the people who are important to me than into things. I wonder if I'll ever arrive at a place where I'm at peace with my spending in relationship to what I say are my values.
So I talked about it anyway. Well, there haven't been any asterisks in awhile so I guess the time had come. I'm sure I didn't strike the right tone, and I can only hope you know that as usual, this is me poking at me and not anyone else. It is ridiculously past my bedtime. Which really stinks because I'm supposed to get up early to run tomorrow. You know, so I can look thin and fit like Mrs. Jones.
2 comments:
I get what you are saying about keeping up. It's easy, especially here in classy, more-up-scale-than-the-midwest east cost. But, more often than not, it's not such a huge desire for me. But the running thing...
So yeah, I'm dealing with the whole running thing too. Yes, it's good to stay healthy. But should I get up and run and spend so much time on it, just to meet a goal or be fit? It's totally a pride thing for me.
So while wearing the best clothes may not be what I strive for, being the person in my office who had the longest run this weekend is. And is that really any better?
Tiff,
I totally understand this struggle that you are talking about. On the one had the bible teaches that our heavenly Father desires to give us good things but it also teaches how we are to deny ourselves and take up our crosses to follow Him. Just remember that He knows this about us and how we struggle against our flesh... The following scripture comes to mind: Galatians 5:17 "For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do." One day the struggle will be over and all will see the victory that the cross has over our flesh. And we will have everything we ever wanted... Actually, everything we didn't even realize we wanted. I also get what Kristy said and it makes me think of the passage in 1 Timothy 4:8 "for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."
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