Perspective or Persona?

Anna's been crying about school, as you know. Jeff issued a challenge to her about "breaking the cycle" of crying. Which she did for two days in a row. Yay!!! But we're still keeping that conference we scheduled with the teacher after school today.

Before I go in this afternoon, I am processing this, trying to see all points of view.

The teacher: She has 18 kids in the class. None of them are terrible behavior problems, but I would bet my bank account that two of them have been diagnosed with ADHD. She gave me both of them for a project yesterday when I was volunteering in the class. Trust me, they're ADHD. Cute as they can be, though. It's super fun for me to go in once a week for an hour and help with special projects, but it's another thing to be the teacher, all day every day. I have two pretty easy kids, all things considered, but they wear me down. Two of them.

Jeff: Darn him for being a former teacher, who disliked interacting with overly involved parents. He would rather have gang-bangers in his class than children of yuppies. At least I know he'll try his hardest to make it at 3:45, because he's afraid of what will happen if he's not. More about that ahead.

Anna: She told me she thinks her teacher is mean. I observed a math activity yesterday, and honest-to-goodness, Anna answered all the questions first. I thought maybe she still enjoyed the activity, but when I casually mentioned it this morning while we were drawing animal pictures, she said, "That was SO boring." Which is what Jeff suspected. So she thinks her teacher is mean, and she is bored. Two days ago she said, "You know Mom, there is such a thing as home school." Who told her about that?! I know it was neither Jeff nor I. She thinks her teacher is mean NOW! Today she said, "I think it was a better idea that they skip me to first grade." That came from some overheard conversations at school, I believe.

Anna (pronounced Ana): Is the amazing so-much-more-than-a-receptionist at the Center for New Americans. She is Puerto Rican, and talks just like Gloria from Modern Family. She's met Anna Rozelle and fell in love with her and claimed her as her own. Yesterday she asked how kindergarten was going, I told her, and the most entertaining conversation ensued. She sat me down and showed me exactly how I should go in and talk to that teacher. I've been practicing my finger wagging, head bobbing, and Latina accent, but alas, I think Jeff will probably make it in time for the meeting.

Me: The school is great. This is not too terrible in the grand scheme of school-related problems. The teacher is not a bad person. She is just a lot more high-strung than either Jeff or I, and more than Anna's preschool teachers. She hyper-manages everything. Anna's just not used to her style. Molly's kindergarten teacher had a similar personality. But Molly was one of those kids who was completely not phased. Molly has the ability to filter out all kinds of irritating behaviors of both children and adults and exist in her own world. (Her sister's irritating behavior excluded). Anna is more tightly wound, just like her teacher. Magnets of like charge repel. I understand why Anna is bored unless she's with the reading specialist, at music or library. I also understand that she is not misbehaving because she doesn't want to be yelled at. Effective for managing her behavior, but not for fostering learning.

Anna has to learn to cope with all kinds of environments. But I also want to make sure that she isn't developing negative attitudes toward school this early in her career. So I think we all need to hope that traffic is terrible coming from downtown this afternoon so I can deliver the performance of a lifetime.