Detox, Cleanse, Probably Won't Repeat

You know I'm crazy.  Let's not even try to pretend anything else.  You probably think from the title of this post that maybe I gave up coffee.  Nope.  Though in a real detox or cleanse or whatever, caffeine is one of the first things you're supposed to give up.  I think I have been very clear with the universe about the conditions under which I give up coffee and "just because" is not one of them.

You may or may not know what the heck I'm talking about.  If you do, you're probably wondering why I'm not commenting on Gwenyth Paltrow's blog instead of dragging you into this.  First of all, I pride myself on not giving in to the latest crazes.  Especially of the celebrity-endorsed variety.  Second, I am not really doing that whole Dr. Alejandro thing (don't you think he totally made up that name because, like Lady Gaga, he just liked the way it sounds?) It kind of sounds like starvation and kooky science.  I live with a scientist.  There's no way I can get away with that kind of unscientific behavior.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, let's just say that I have picked up some bad winter habits like eating lots of "comfort food" and not enough fresh fruit and veggies. I had a completely indulgent time in Orlando that left me feeling kind of ... icky.  A few people I know have been talking about this Cleanse stuff.  It's a 21-day regimen where you pretty much drink 2 green healthy things, take supplements, guzzle water, and eat one ultra lean and natural meal each day.  You abstain from refined sugar, salt, most dairy and meat, processed foods, caffeine, and alcohol. Yeah, that's what I said too.  So after I said, "That's crazy, I won't be doing that." I thought about what exactly I would be trying to accomplish and how to modify accordingly.  First, I gave myself one week.  Second, I'm not limiting any portions or counting any calories.  The point is more to put as many good-for-me substances and as few bad-for-me substances into my mouth as possible.  I don't drink enough water.  I drink tons of coffee with real cream.  I eat too much sugar and too many things that come out of a box and have shelf lives older than Molly.  Those are the things I need to wean myself off of.  Cooking with cream has become commonplace for me.  BUT, I know I absolutely will not get out of bed, and I am serious about that, without the promise of a cup (well, actually Jeff's giant 16 oz. mug) of coffee with cream.  So, I am limiting myself to that little tiny bit of caffeine.  And I am eating fruits, vegetables, unsalted nuts, natural plain yogurt, brown rice, and herb tea.  Honey is the only sweetener allowed, olive oil the only added fat.  I'll start adding back in beans and maybe fish in a day or two.  I'm drinking more water than usual.  Why am I writing about this?

BECAUSE I AM DYING!  I can't concentrate and I have chocolate mirages.  If I don't write about this I will weaken.  And I really do think it's worth trying to break my addiction to constantly consuming things that barely qualify as food.  C'mon, tell me I can do this! I think it will be good for me.  I also  think I will not be doing this again any time soon.  I miss cheese too much.