A Whiner's Tale

Once upon a time, about 4 years ago, a couple said that next time they moved, they would do it the grown-up way.  Hubby would be a professor next time, and certainly the research 1 university who hired him would foot the bill for a moving company.

Along came the happy day when the Hubby secured his professor job at the research 1 university and there was much rejoicing in the household.  But alas, the university did not provide a moving allowance that would cover a moving company.  So poor Wife had to pack up the whole house herself and the couple had pack up their belongings without professional assistance once again.

Wife was completely sickened by the way she was rapidly filling landfills and so hastening the decline of human civilization.  But the Wife was a feeble-hearted woman after all: if she could have afforded to replace things, she would have started throwing even more things away with both hands and great speed and gleefully started redecorating her new castle with gusto (in a completely environmentally friendly fashion, of course).  

Wife hated with a passion the dismal work she was assigned, and almost fell into an eternal faint.  Luckily, her fair maiden friends from the Land of Lansing offered to rescue her from her never-ending chore for an evening of fine dining and good times.  The prospect of such a lovely evening restored Wife's spirits.  She even allowed her hard heart to feel gladness for the fact that they had so many wonderful friends from far and wide to help them at all, and a job when the kingdom was really fallen upon hard times.  Why, Hubby's future lord had even coerced his grad student servants to come help move the couple into their new abode.  

Though the Wife began to turn her soul from dark thoughts, she still secretly dreamed of cabinets in a color other than lavender, and wished upon the first evening star that a wind might sweep away her loads of junk, and that a fairy godmother would bestow upon her all manner of beautiful home furnishings.