Peace I Keep Giving Back*

Tonight at dinner, I got a phone call from Jeff's coworker, whose family we are becoming friends with.  She was extending a last minute invitation for the girls and I to come watch a movie with her and her girls, since there was a guys night out taking place. 

I must admit, that after a nice pick-me-up by a beautiful day spent outdoors and a splendid grilled cheeseburger (that husband of mine is such an excellent grillmaster), I was starting to feel the chemical levels in my brain start to plummet at the thought of spending a Friday evening with nothing fun to do.    

Yesterday, I expressed to Jeff that a number of women told me I should come to the K-fit classes at Anna's dojo.  Jeff said, "Why are you surprised?  People like you." And you know what? I was surprised.  It sometimes surprises me when people like me.  The thought that went through my head when I received the phone call tonight was "She's just being nice because she's a great colleague to Jeff." I'm often expecting to be thought of as a few notches short of normal. Before you dial the number to that expensive therapist, let me finish.  

 Also, I have been invited to go through a book called The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?  A line jumped out at me as I was reading it: "Discipline leads to freedom." (This in the chapter about fasting.  Now doesn't that strike fear in the heart of all who know my blood sugar issues all too well?)  Last week, one of the women in the group said, "I'm going to pray for peace for you, is that ok?"  Well, really, who is going to say no to that?  But as I thought about it, it was incredibly appropriate.  The constant worry about what kind of damage I am doing to my children.  The preoccupation with finishing my degree. The ridiculous striving to never disappoint.  Peace: my lack thereof probably precedes me when I enter a room.  

There is a quote I used to have on the bottom of this blog, I think:

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. (unknown). 

Discipline is the means to this end.  This is the peace I am offered on a regular basis, and sometimes I take it.  Sometimes I ignore it completely.  One of my favorite sayings of Jesus that another woman in the group shared: "Peace I give you."  Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul.  Only a human would try to give something that beautiful back.  

  "Hi. I'm Tiffany,  and I'm human."  Step one, I believe that's called.