Lesson Not Learned

First of all, check out my addendum comment on the previous post.

Yesterday was Molly's birthday. In our house, you are chore exempt on your birthday (if you are not the Mom). I picked up Moll's chores that I thought might be too difficult for Anna.

When Anna and I were at the mall, one of our errands was to pick out a gift for Molly from Anna. Anna doesn't have a big cash flow, so I offered her a deal. If she did all of Molly's chores on her birthday, that would be her "payment" for the gift for Moll. She thought that sounded great.

She wanted to give Moll a book. Moll has been wanting to fill out her book collection. She wants all of her favorite Sharon Creech novels. The store had Walk Two Moons (which she has), Chasing Redbird (which she was getting from my mom), Hate that Cat (which Molly hates), and Ruby Holler (which was also not one Molly wanted to own). Plan B. "Oh wouldn't it be nice for her to own the Harry Potter series?" I thought. Until I saw the 86 dollar price tag.

Molly has been reading the series aloud to me before bed. We stopped somewhere in the middle of book 3, the Prisoner of Azkaban. Our library doesn't own a copy, and it's never in at other libraries either. Plus, it's possibly the best one. I consulted Anna, and being in love with the first two movies was enthusiastic about getting Sissy a Harry Potter book.

The problem came in yesterday morning, when Anna woke up deciding her entire purpose in life that day was to ruin her sister's birthday. She in no uncertain terms told me that she was not going to do any of Molly's chores, cheerfully or otherwise. Enter Love and Logic. I said that was fine if she decided not to do the chores, but that choice meant that she was not paying me for the book and so she would not have a present for her sister. She said that was fine. She would not get her sister the book for a birthday present.

The rest of the day wasn't much better. "Why is Molly getting all the attention?" She didn't want to eat where Molly wanted to go for lunch. Any store Molly wanted to go in in Skaneateles, she did not. She did not want to play the games that Molly wanted to play. I had a "rejoice when others rejoice" talk with her and it seemed to have no effect.

Daddy came home late last night, but we saved the present opening and cake so he could participate. Anna suddenly became very happy about Molly's birthday upon his arrival. When Molly opened the Harry Potter book Anna said with a lovely smile, "That is from me and Mom."

"No, it's not." I said quietly. The room was deadly silent. "You didn't pay for the book, remember?"

Jeff suggested we talk about this at Anna's bedtime.

We did. I told Anna that she could have another chance to pay for the book tomorrow and have it be from her. If not, the book was without a doubt going to be from just Mom and Dad.

It's 9:30 a.m., and no chores have been done. I asked Anna if she thought she was going to do Molly's chores and she said "Mmmmm, no. I don't think so."

Perhaps that book should just be called Parenting with Logic. I am fully aware that it is common thought that without Jeff, I would adopt a permissive-indulgent parenting style. I can't really argue with that. But may I propose that without some feminine influence in children's lives, we would have a bunch of little sociopaths running around?