So I've been reading some statistics from studies published in my Family Communications textbook:
Of men whose wives work full time, 75% say the wives do the majority of family chores. The women also do 2/3 of one-on-one communication with the children.
Women do most of the communicating with relatives; women are the family "kinkeepers".
Becoming a new mother is associated with increased housework and more disagreements with spouse. The increased housework is not a trend that holds true for becoming a new dad.
Highly educated women at the top 10% of their earning power - 1/3 are childless at age 40. The more successful they were in their careers, the less likely it was for them to have a partner or children. The exact opposite was true for men.
There's a lot of feelings these statistics stir up inside me, most of them negative.
Having daughters made me more of a feminist than I ever was before. My girls are so smart and have so much potential - why should boys be able to have it all? Then again, I feel so fortunate to be a woman and for my daughters to be growing up today, in our country.
What I think I've tended to do with these conflicting feelings is to try to do what I can to improve conditions for women who have to contend with people who prey upon them because they are women, and in their society this clearly means second class status. Subjection to sex slavery, loan sharks, no political voice, appallingly substandard health care, and all kinds of other discrimination and sometimes danger are things women are still subject to.
Anything else for me, at this point, feels like I am giving in to my inner whiner and victim mentality, and could possibly jeopardize my marriage:) Maybe my daughters will be able to strike a better balance in their lives. (Somehow, I think Anna's future husband may be the one doing the majority of chores!) I think before I spend too much energy worrying about that, I should direct my efforts and resources to ensure a better standard of living for the daughters of people who are still denied their basic human rights.
Bet you'll be avoiding the astericks!
2 comments:
Great post! I will be thinking about this one for a long time...
***** I love the asterisks!
Controversial?
In the words of Inigo Montoya, "You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means"
Was the _____ going to say roar or bitch? My guess would be the latter because I assume that the people who think you are controversial would be shocked by YOU of all people using that word. OOOPS! Now am I being controversial? Don't worry about people who will look down on you for the way you feel about something that the world and sin nature has twisted.
God has something great to say about the value of women. It was the only time at creation where he said something isn't good..."It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him." (Gen.2:18) And then God paraded all of the animals before Adam to show him that there truly was no one for him and then he mad Eve out of Adam. God shows here that Man cannot survive without woman, and Women could not survive without Man...
We are BOTH made in His image and we each have different attributes of God. Men fall under a more protecting role and women fall under a more nurturing role... not that both can't have both attributes but it's definitely designed for us to be different. Many women have ruined this by trying to be in roles that God didn't intend them to be in. The biggest one being trying to be the HEADS of their homes. Men have ruined it by refusing to take leadership or lording their power over their wives.
Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves His church (sacrificially), which yes, might mean helping with the chores occasionally. And women are to submit to their husbands like the church ought to submit to Christ... submission gets a bad rap but sometimes it means sacrificing what we want for our husbands leadership (or career). I thank God that I do not have a husband that lords his headship over me or humiliates me... he loves me in a sacrificial and protective way the way Christ loves the church.
The answer to all of the worlds problems are simple... JESUS! I pray that women who are abused in this world will draw strength from the HOLY HUSBAND Jesus. He is their protector and He is familiar with their grief and pain. I am glad that rather than going off on a tangent about your struggles with your current womanly role you chose to be content and think of the difficulties of others who have it much worse. I know that doesn't make you a saint but it does mean that you recognize your struggle and are trying to listen to God's voice.
Im going to take a moment to close this by doing some "positive" roaring about you... You are SMART, BEAUTIFUL (inside and out), STRONG, RESOURCEFUL, KIND, LOVING, CREATIVE, GIVING... hmm sounds a little like a woman from a certain proverb I know but I am sure you would argue that because you are HUMBLE. Be proud and roar about the position and role that God has given you as a wife and mother.
God values the simple, meek, weak, more than the intelligent, successful, and strong. He cares more for our hearts than our careers or lack thereof. Don't worry about raising daughters to be successful self sufficient women. Many successful career women are big failures in God's eyes because they are not following Him.
I hope you are being encouraged by my comments to your "controversial" posts. I miss the days when we would encourage each other with scripture. I'm just trying to show some love from a distance. Don't think too much... you will go crazy. Just have that child like faith. I remember laying in bed in a dorm room during a conference with you in the bed across the room and us just randomly talking to God as plainly as we talked to each other... He was truly the best friend of us two jr. high girls. We didn't even know what it meant to be a woman yet but we had the relationship with God that more mature than you find in some marriages.
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