Temporarily Empty Nest

Biscuit and I returned from dropping off the girls not long ago, and Jeff is at work.

I got home, looked around my perfectly neat, quiet house and remembered a whole bunch of things I had forgotten about what it is really like not to have children around.

The few times I have been without my children have been much different than this one. Two times were when Jeff and I took trips to Charleston, SC and to Joshua Tree. It doesn't feel so weird not to have kids around when you are in an entirely different place on a getaway. The other two times, we were moving from MI to NY, and we were so busy we didn't have much time to ponder our temporary kidlessness. We worked to exhaustion, went out and had a late dinner, then fell into bed. Plus, this home was new to us and the kids hadn't been in it yet.

This is the first time, maybe ever, that I have been without the kids in my own home, in a fairly normal week. Yes, Jeff and I have some fun dates planned, but I still have school and the Center, and he is going to work. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to getting ahead on some house projects and doing something like going shopping alone or reading a book for fun!

But I had forgotten that I actually used to feel a tiny bit bored and lonely. I forgot that I once used to just sit and eat chocolate ice cream out of the carton by myself and watch TV. It seems like a distant memory of someone else's life that I used to structure my day entirely around what I had to do for work and basic survival, and the rest what I wanted to do. I barely remember not needing to coordinate with Jeff when I would exercise or go to the grocery. Did I clean without interruptions and knock out the task in a few hours? I had half as much laundry. I spent three-quarters less time on meal prep, serving, and clean up. Maybe 7/8 less on that one. But I've also forgotten how trivial that stuff really is. And if I had all that all the time, I also wouldn't have freshly painted works of art on my fridge and the sounds of belly laughter filling my day.

Lately I have had a schizophrenic sort of pull between wanting to just be done with the little kids thing and jump into a career, and having just one more kiddo. (Probably by adoption, as I am on the top 100 list for worst pregnancies of all time). At the end of this little separation from the kids, I wonder if I'll be leaning more one direction or another?

Gotta go - my date just called - he's on his way home from work:)