What I Said I'd Never Do

Most daughters I know have one or two things they vow they will never do the way their mothers do or did. It could be child discipline, hair style, or anything and everything in between.

I have a loving mother. She does a lot of things very well and I call her for advice about cleaning or children's temper tantrums. However, I love to cook, and she cooks because she has to.

I started reading cookbooks before I was thirteen. I made my first batch of brownies solo in fourth grade. I mastered bread making before I left my mother's home. My mom was a great sport about this. She even got to the point where she'd volunteer to bring a dessert to a function, and then say, "Tiff you make it and I'll clean up as you go." This kitchen relationship was perfectly symbiotic. She would ask me to make dinner, and then clean up my mess. I miss her bustling around whisking away my batter spills and dirty dishes, and she misses fresh homemade bread.

All that to say that somewhere in my youth, I vowed to never make the kind of casseroles she served. The kind where there are noodles, a vegetable, maybe a meat, and always, cream of mushroom soup. Every time this sort of casserole appeared on the table, I would renew my vow with heartfelt passion, possibly at times in the presence of my mother.

Guess what I did last week? Yes I did. Leftover macaroni noodles, leftover chicken, can of cream of mushroom soup, with buttered bread crumbs and shredded cheese on top. Did my kids like it? No they did not. My husband was in mild shock. I realized after I had thrown my thrifty creation together exactly what I'd done.

A moment of generational connection occurred. I had the odd sensation of standing next to my mom in her kitchen at my age, as a friend. You see, in my Families in Poverty class I have learned that the U.S. government set up four sets of budgets for a family of four, took the leanest of those, called "The Thrifty Plan," and used it to allocate food stamp funds. It is considered "emergency" and "not suitable for a sustained period of time." This is food only, not the dish soap and toilet paper and the like that I usually buy with grocery money. My current grocery budget is a good 50 bucks below this number.

I learned from my mother's example not just where to shop, but that it is important to stay in your food budget. Even if you have breakfast for dinner a few nights a week, and peanut butter and jelly is what you get in your lunch. We were very healthy, and we never went hungry. I also made her potato soup recipe this week, which reminds me of the loaves and fishes miracle, because you dish out everyone's serving and it looks like you haven't taken anything out of the pot. And it feeds you for a few days, not counting what is set aside in the freezer. (I happened to not mind this as a kid and made no vows against it). My mother cooked all the time, though she didn't like it, and did so on an extremely tight budget, which makes cooking all the more difficult.

My kids don't like it when I make gourmet meals with exotic ingredients and flair anyway. They would rather have the box of mac and cheese that costs 35 cents. Tonight I will make them that box of mac and cheese, because I will be eating the leftover chicken casserole. There is one thing I still haven't done like my mom. Make my kids eat the leftover cream of mushroom soup and noodle casserole.

Love you , Mom!